This morning I wanted to fall on my knees in deep gratitude and thanksgiving.
I felt a tenderness. A sense of preciousness. I knew that the moment would fall away as all moments do, but I felt called to appreciate it as fully as possible.
I felt held in this delicate balance between pridefulness and a sense of insignificance, of not being worthy. It is in that space between the two that I experience true humility - knowing the value of me being me and sharing my unique gifts. It is an exquisite place in which to reside.
What led me to that state was that I had just shared some channeled messages with a friend. These messages came through me. I knew their source - actually, in this case three different sources. It was a felt knowing, a skill I have developed in the last twenty years since angels first came into my life. It is hard to explain how the knowing occurs, but when Archangel Michael shows up in my life, I can distinguish that energy from the energy of other angels. When a new Spiritual being shows up, they somehow indicate to me some clue as to their identity. I can hear a name or feel or see something that gives me an idea. I feel a bodily sensation of a yes, no, or maybe. Then I hear or sense a message or inspired idea. It is a lot easier to do than to explain.
The messages that came through today helped my friend attain a greater sense of peace and clarity. This is where emotions and feelings around humility came in for me. I was helping someone very dear to me through using my gifts. Wow!
The experience brought tears to my eyes. Not tears of sadness or joy, but of a deeper emotion, a sense of amazingness, awesomeness, that sense of being a clear vessel or conduit for truth and love to flow through, knowing it was not me, but my allowing for it to be.
On Valentine’s Day I had another experience around this concept of true humility. On that day I channeled a message for myself. I wrote about it in a blog called “A Funny Way to Spend Valentine’s Day.” I shared how I was trying to describe my work to other participants in a conference. I knew I was to say more than author or Reiki master. What I heard my angels say was “you are a messenger for the angels.” For some reason it felt huge, maybe even pretentious. After wrestling with the concept for a while, I chose to accept the description. As I wrote about this experience in the blog, I said I would accept the role “with true humility – that place between pridefulness and unworthiness - that place where we best share our unique gifts.”
I guess my angels really want me to understand this concept of true humility, since it came up again today. Yes, it is how we can best share our gifts, open ourselves to divine inspiration, and allow the goodliness of the Divine to flow through us.
My angels tell me that being humble, truly humble, helps us hear and experience their energy and wisdom. It is a virtue that assists in our personal evolution. Yet “humility” as a word has such mixed meanings.
There is the honorable meaning that I know is intended by my angel advisors - the opposite of being arrogant or “haughty”. Haughty almost sounds like what it means - expressing contempt for people or things perceived to be inferior.
Yet humility also includes a sense of submissiveness and limited self-worth. That is a negative connotation - a feeling of being less then – just as being haughty would make others seems inferior, being humble could cause oneself to feel inferior.
What a mixed bag of messages contained in the word “humility”.
But don’t many spiritual concepts have that quality of the Tao, the holding of opposites in a whole - not just a static whole as the symbol for the Tao might first reflect, but the flow of the opposites in the whole?
Consider love. As I evolve in understanding love, I find that my love cannot extend to another unless it begins with love for myself. Self-love is not selfish in the withholding and constricting way that most of us understand selfishness. Self-love is the most expansive and gracious way to be in this world because it is in loving our self and appreciating that we are love itself, that we can then radiate that out to others. We untether our love and set it free by loving our self. It is a difficult concept to fully appreciate yet bringing the concept of the Tao to it helps me.
So back to my experience this morning. What it taught me is that by my being able to hold my presence in the space of the two opposites, the space between haughty and submissively humble is true humility, through which gifts of the most holy can flow through. I did not second guess or doubt myself as I allowed the guidance and wisdom to flow through. I could have said, “not me. I am not skilled enough, talented enough, holy enough to allow these messages to come through.” Or I could be in true humility and allow, speak, and share the love, wisdom and other blessings flowing through.
My angels asked me to stay with this in the afterglow – after the moment had passed and the messages given, to allow my understanding of what had just happened come into my awareness at a deeper level. This is what they had been speaking to me about for years. This is what they had me write about as true humility being a condition that would help people connect more easily, consistently, and confidently with their angels. They asked me to take it in fully into my body and really feel it. And then they asked me to write about it in this blog.
I hope this sharing helps you bring your unique gifts through in the space of true humility. The world needs you in your most awesome humble beingness.
Please leave a comment below about these ideas around true humility and sharing your gifts.